A Faith Journal

I’m bringing this out from my old blog site.  It was initially shared on April 4th, 2022. God has been bringing this to mind a lot lately so I am bringing it out as a start to the Advent season. Be the light this season. There are a lot of people sitting in the dark seeking something and need your spark of light. Share your light for all. Enjoy this old post and know the path you travel with God is amazing, no matter how simple it may seem at times.

Down in the valley I sit waiting for the sun to hit me and show me the way out. Yet when the sun hits, it is just enough to show me what is just beside me. So, I sit waiting for more light. The light does not grow any brighter though. Eventually I choose to get up and move to the edge of the light. The first move expanded the light just a little, so I moved further. Then the light grew, and I could see down the path a few feet. It seemed like a rocky path but one that could easily be taken. As I traveled the path with only minor difficulty, I grew more comfortable with the amount of light I had but was not looking around to see what I was passing. I was concentrating on the path even though I now could walk it without being so focused on it.

Then the light began to fade and flicker. When I looked around to see what was happening, I realized there was someone else close by. Why did they want my light? Why couldn’t they wait for their own light? As I looked around and contemplated this, I saw another light far off, but why was it so far away? I could never make it that far in the dark especially if I were now sharing my light. I took a step away from the person and my light grew dimmer. I stopped again and thought about how just a little bit ago I had sat alone in the dark. So, I turned around and held out my hand to the other person. When they took their step, our light source seemed to grow stronger. We were not always in sync and our light source seemed to trade off on whose it was. Sometimes it was brighter around me and other times it was brighter around them, but we continued together. I would look out from time to time to see if that far off other light was still there. It was. Sometimes it seemed close but then others it seemed far off again.

After traveling with the other person for a bit, I looked down and noticed the ground was getting a little more difficult to travel and the light source was splitting. The other person was moving to the far opposite side of the path, and they were taking most of the light source with them. I needed the light; my side of the path was getting more difficult. When I tried to go toward them, my light dimmed even more but when I veered toward the more difficult side, the light would get just a little brighter. Why can’t I go that way with them? I gave them the light they started with. Why am I being left in the dark again?

After some time of looking around at the path before me that was nearly blocked with boulders and scary shadows, I decided to take a step toward it. My light grew a little brighter as if to say, I have been waiting for you to make that step. With each step I take, I get just enough light in front of me to take the next step. Every once in a while, I bump into some boulders, but they only slow me down a little. I have to climb over a few but they do not stop me. After a while like this, I look up to see the far-off light I had been seeing was awfully close now. The space between me and the other light is very dark and scary though and I do not want to move too fast since there are still boulders on my path. I continue to move and while my light is not bright, it is still with me. Suddenly, the far-off light was there and someone else was holding out their hand to me like I had done before to the other person. When I joined their light, my light grew brighter, and we were able to go on our path much quicker. There were not as many boulders and the ones that were there were able to be easily avoided.

I was really enjoying the walk with this other person. Our path had continued to get easier as we traveled, but then I felt a tug in my gut to pull my light from the other. I did not want to, though, because we were making such progress together. So, I continued with the other light and I felt my light weaken with each step. I tried to draw from the other light, but it just was not helping me. Finally, I had to stop. The other person continued, and their light grew brighter.

I grew angry. Why did their light grow brighter and mine nearly go out? I sat there in the darkness again thinking about why my light was not as good or as bright as the others. I wanted what they had, but no matter how much I looked to their light, mine did not get brighter. Okay fine! I chose then to look at my light. It was weak in some areas, bright in other spots. Yet I knew that my tiny light had so much potential. I wanted my light to shine so bright! What would make my light shine again so that I could see my way out of the dark valley for good?

I sat and thought, for a while, back to when I had started. What had I done to start the light? Nothing, it had just appeared. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had never really been in total darkness. There had never been a moment I was without light. There were moments I had been in shadows or near darkness but never full darkness.

Once I understood this, I realized that my light was directing me back the way I had just come. I stood up and moved back down the path. With each step, much like when I first began, my light grew stronger. When I reached a spot where I felt I should veer, I noticed it was the spot I had ignored when I passed by it last time. This time I veered but my light grew dim again and the path seemed harder to navigate. Maybe I made a wrong turn, maybe I should have kept going. Then just as I was about to give up, I noticed a flicker just ahead. Was someone else on this path?

Despite fearing the darkness just outside of my circle of light, I ran ahead of the light. Or at least I tried to. It stayed with me every step of the way. As I drew closer, I barely saw that there was someone on the path, but their light was almost gone. I would have missed them if their light had not flickered when I first drew close. Why was their light almost gone? When the person saw me, their light began to flicker more frequently. They tried to stand but their legs could not seem to hold them. They sat back down, and I noticed that their light was now constant but still weak. I decided to sit down beside them so we could talk and see if I could help them. After sitting there for a bit, enjoying each other’s company, I saw that both of our lights were growing stronger. The other person told me they were now feeling strong enough to stand. So, we stood up and began a slow walk down our path. The path that earlier seemed difficult was now much easier.

After a short distance, we found someone else with a flickering light. The person I was walking with decided to sit with the person. Before they sat down, though, they hugged me and sent me on my way. I was once again alone with my light that was now just barely wider than me but the brightest it had ever been. I was feeling confident that the darkness was not something to fear. As I continued down my path, others joined me from time to time and my light continued to fluctuate as my hope and confidence levels changed.

Then one day a light so bright that it took away all the darkness appeared. The person with this light radiated love and warmth. I could not help but draw close to them. As I stood there, they turned me around to show me where I had just come from. When I turned around, I saw that others were in the valley I had just emerged from. The person next to me asked if I would like to see the path I had taken through the dark valley. I of course wanted to see it since I had only seen bits and pieces of it as I traveled along.

When I looked back at the valley, I could see the darkness, but I could also see what was just outside of the path and my light source. There were times that had I not run into a boulder, I could have fallen down a ravine. Or had I had enough light to see the full path, I would not have gone since there were predators just outside of my light. Other times I saw that had I been paying attention to my surroundings, I would have seen others I could have walked with, at least for a little bit. I wish I would have noticed them when I had initially walked the path.

I then spotted how every where I had been walking, there was a residual light lingering for a little bit after me. The person beside me said to pay attention to my path after I went through. That is when I saw others come out of the darkness and my residual light helped spark their light. Those people took their light down their own path and had similar reactions to their lights. I asked this person next to me how it was possible that even when I felt my light was its weakest, people were still being drawn to it? They said to remember back to when I saw other lights on my path and how I felt. Did I want to run from it or toward it? Every time I ran to it.

That is how they were too. Every little spark combines to make a fire. If a spark cools off when it is away from the others, all it needs to do is draw near to other sparks to be ignited again. So many sparks were coming from my path after the person next to me said that that I thought a small fire was igniting my path and then the valley. I had no idea that my simple light had such an impact over the time I had been traveling through the valley. The person next to me said that as long as we have hope, our sparks can set the world on fire.

Why did I write this simple little story? As I was sitting one day thinking about how broken and flawed I am, I looked down at my arm tattoo and heard God remind me that He uses those types of people. I have a broken, flawed word on my arm that I use as a constant reminder that God uses our brokenness to help others. There are times that we get to see God use our brokenness to help others. There are times when we have no clue others see our flaws and use them to grow themselves. Just remember that as long as we have faith, hope and love (1 Corinthians 13:13), we can continue down our paths no matter how difficult they are at times. Trust the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Broken and flawed people are everywhere you look. No one is 100% put together no matter how much it may seem they are. Know that your brokenness is not too broken or messy for God to use. Let Him use it to bring comfort and peace to others as you walk down life’s path with Him.

The thing we need to remember as we travel down our paths, is that we are each beautifully unique and are not going to have the same experiences as those around us. We will travel together from time to time, but we will not have the same experiences, see the same beauties, or have the same fears. As God as our light source down our paths, it will be full of love though. Be sure to share your light and try not to hide it under a bushel because even though it may seem weak or not as beautiful as someone else’s it is the perfect spark that someone needs, and you may never know when they need it.